Friday Night in Hick Town
I just read an article in the local paper about the dearth of singles in my town. Most people said, in so many words, “there’s no nightlife, it’s boring, it was so much better in the large metropolis I used to live in, if it (meeting someone) happens, it happens.” The relationship experts replied that waiting around for something to happen doesn’t work – you have to make it happen.
According to the paper, the demographic breakdown for Hick Town is approximately 15,000 each never-married men and women between the ages of 15 and 44. I don’t know why they stuck the 15-19-year-olds in there, because I wouldn’t expect them to be married, and I don’t know why they left divorced people out, because they’re single too. So those numbers aren’t too helpful, other than to say at least we’re not like Alaska with a 7 to 1 ration of men to women. Hmmmm, … naaah.
One lady’s comment about the local men was “They dip.” No, she’s not speaking ebonics, and dip is not slang for “really bad” or “really good.” She means they chew tobacco, which is just gross. She also added they are uneducated. You’re not making a good impression out there, fellas!
So what am I doing? I tried that eHarmony experiment, which you can read about below. None of my potential matches lived in Hick Town, so I’m guessing there’s not many eHarmony users here. Or maybe guys here just don’t know how to use computers. After eHarmony, I tried meetup.com, which is not a single matching service, but a social network for people with common interests. The only meetup groups in Hickory are for bipolar disorders and Budhism, but hey, at least they know how to use computers. So I set up my own meetup group (30 day free trial, 6 months for $72.00) under the interest Renaissance Faire hoping to attract people who like to have a good time and know how to read.
I also had one of my better Friday nights last week. I don’t go out very often because I am trying to maintain an “aura of mystery.” I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Some man with yesterday’s 5:00 shadow immediately glommed onto me and insisted that I needed to have fun and another drink. “Bill” was a bit of a drunk, and a bit of an arrogant asshole, but I took him up on the drink part. His buddy was much more interesting, but I couldn’t get rid of “Bill” to talk to the buddy. And though I have delusions of youth, he was definitely too old. But I talked to them, and “Bill” gave me his phone number and insisted that I call him. I did not.
While I was talking to Bill and his Buddy, an acquaintance of my husband’s came up to say hello. “Cliff” has a little beard, a knit cap on his head, and tattoos up both arms – total opposite of “Bill.” Eventually Cliff invited me back to his table, and I realize tattoo boy is actually interested in me. I think I was intimidating his friends so I didn’t linger. Perhaps if I could get tattoo boy alone…. …. ….
Anyway, by now I’m on my 3rd drink, which means I will say anything to anybody, so I sidled up to the 3rd and final prospect of the evening. I would give you a fake name, but after 3 drinks I don’t remember names anymore, so his fake name could actually be his real name, so I will just refer to him as “out of my league.” “Out of my league” had been talking with a friend of mine, so I felt we were practically introduced. I had gleaned that he had played football for a large state university, and we had a nice conversation about football rivalries, rap music, and probably some other stuff I don’t remember. He was tall and good-looking, probably too tall for my 5’2” frame, and probably too young, but I as I said, I have delusions of youth. Isn’t “trying” the whole point of this? He even said he would meet me the next Friday night at the same place, but that day has come and gone and I couldn’t get a babysitter. So I am either playing hard-to-get, which they tell me is the thing to do, but it always seemed counter-intuitive to me, or I have screwed that opportunity up.
Guess I will have to wait another 4 weeks before I find out. Got to maintain that “aura of mystery.”
According to the paper, the demographic breakdown for Hick Town is approximately 15,000 each never-married men and women between the ages of 15 and 44. I don’t know why they stuck the 15-19-year-olds in there, because I wouldn’t expect them to be married, and I don’t know why they left divorced people out, because they’re single too. So those numbers aren’t too helpful, other than to say at least we’re not like Alaska with a 7 to 1 ration of men to women. Hmmmm, … naaah.
One lady’s comment about the local men was “They dip.” No, she’s not speaking ebonics, and dip is not slang for “really bad” or “really good.” She means they chew tobacco, which is just gross. She also added they are uneducated. You’re not making a good impression out there, fellas!
So what am I doing? I tried that eHarmony experiment, which you can read about below. None of my potential matches lived in Hick Town, so I’m guessing there’s not many eHarmony users here. Or maybe guys here just don’t know how to use computers. After eHarmony, I tried meetup.com, which is not a single matching service, but a social network for people with common interests. The only meetup groups in Hickory are for bipolar disorders and Budhism, but hey, at least they know how to use computers. So I set up my own meetup group (30 day free trial, 6 months for $72.00) under the interest Renaissance Faire hoping to attract people who like to have a good time and know how to read.
I also had one of my better Friday nights last week. I don’t go out very often because I am trying to maintain an “aura of mystery.” I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Some man with yesterday’s 5:00 shadow immediately glommed onto me and insisted that I needed to have fun and another drink. “Bill” was a bit of a drunk, and a bit of an arrogant asshole, but I took him up on the drink part. His buddy was much more interesting, but I couldn’t get rid of “Bill” to talk to the buddy. And though I have delusions of youth, he was definitely too old. But I talked to them, and “Bill” gave me his phone number and insisted that I call him. I did not.
While I was talking to Bill and his Buddy, an acquaintance of my husband’s came up to say hello. “Cliff” has a little beard, a knit cap on his head, and tattoos up both arms – total opposite of “Bill.” Eventually Cliff invited me back to his table, and I realize tattoo boy is actually interested in me. I think I was intimidating his friends so I didn’t linger. Perhaps if I could get tattoo boy alone…. …. ….
Anyway, by now I’m on my 3rd drink, which means I will say anything to anybody, so I sidled up to the 3rd and final prospect of the evening. I would give you a fake name, but after 3 drinks I don’t remember names anymore, so his fake name could actually be his real name, so I will just refer to him as “out of my league.” “Out of my league” had been talking with a friend of mine, so I felt we were practically introduced. I had gleaned that he had played football for a large state university, and we had a nice conversation about football rivalries, rap music, and probably some other stuff I don’t remember. He was tall and good-looking, probably too tall for my 5’2” frame, and probably too young, but I as I said, I have delusions of youth. Isn’t “trying” the whole point of this? He even said he would meet me the next Friday night at the same place, but that day has come and gone and I couldn’t get a babysitter. So I am either playing hard-to-get, which they tell me is the thing to do, but it always seemed counter-intuitive to me, or I have screwed that opportunity up.
Guess I will have to wait another 4 weeks before I find out. Got to maintain that “aura of mystery.”
posted by Mary Joan | 9:54 AM
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