Taking Your Peripherals for a Ride or Computer Repair in 3 Easy Steps

Perhaps you've seen evidence of this phenomenon. An important piece of computer equipment stops working – your printer, your mouse, your monitor – so you disconnect the faulty equipment, put it in your car, and take it to your computer guy. He plugs it in, connects it to his computer, keys in some secret DOS command, and your equipment performs perfectly. He looks at you like you're an idiot for bringing him a perfectly good piece of equipment to fix, and you swear that just yesterday it wouldn't work at all. He unplugs the hardware, hands it to you, and you put it back in your car and take it home. You are mad at the equipment for making you look stupid, and you suspect that when you try to plug it in, it won't work. You plug it back in the exact same configuration it was in before, and amazingly, it still works. Maybe you just imagined it didn't work before.

I have determined the cause of this phenomenon. You really aren't stupid or delusional. The computer guy is not a genius. Your hardware was simply bored and wanted to go for a ride. It's not the computer guy that fixes it. It's the ride over.

Don't believe me? Having observed this phenomenon before, I conducted a little experiment this weekend. You see, Thursday night, when I powered up my laptop at home, I couldn't get on the Internet, even though on Wednesday, I got on just fine. My network icon said that I was connected to my home network with a good signal, so off I go to the desktop unit to check it out. I click on Internet Explorer, and no Internet. I unplug and disconnect the modem and the wireless router and shut down the computer. I reboot, plug everything back in, and still no Internet. Hmmm, sounds like a cable problem (I have high-speed cable access). I turn on the TV and verify that the cable channels, including the premium channels, are coming in just fine. So I call the cable company. They connect me to a computer agent, and when I say computer agent I mean an agent that is a computer, like Mr. Smith, except nicer and female. She walks me through identifying the problem, my operating system release number, and so on. She steps me through shutting down and disconnecting and reconnecting everything just like I did before, but still no Internet. I note however, that now the wireless router looks funny. It only has one light lit instead of the usual four or five. Then the agent steps me through bypassing the router and plugging the cable straight into the computer. I do this, and what do you know? Internet. The cable company's computer agent tells me with a note of smug satisfaction, that the problem is not their cable, but appears to be a problem with the wireless router.

So I call up the wireless router people. I am on hold for a long time while they reroute my call to a remote village in India. The nice Indian lady tries to walk me through identifying my computer operating system, but my desktop looks different from what she is describing. She is a little harder to understand than the computer agent. I finally suggested we skip this part since I already did it for the cable company. We go through disconnecting and reconnecting everything except with an extra step. Apparently there is a hidden reset button on the wireless router that one can only access with an unbent paper clip or some other small pointy object. In tiny raised letters barely visible to the naked eye, I can now make out the word "reset." We go through this a couple of times, and I still only have one light lit, instead of the usual four or five, and interestingly enough, one of the unlit lights is the power light, yet it obviously has power because it's got one light lit. (Try to say that fast.) Her final word of advice is "Your router is broken. You should get a new one."

I put the now disconnected router in the car, with the intent of picking up a new one some time during the weekend. For the next two days I ponder the situation. The router appeared to be working when the problem initially started, but somehow malfunctioned during the attempted repair. I buy a new wireless router Sunday afternoon, but decide to test out the old one again. I carefully open the new router, since if my theory holds, I'll be returning it. I try out several configurations: new router, old router, old Ethernet cable, new Ethernet cable. I reboot and review the connection chart in the router instructions. Try it all again, and finally I get Internet on the desktop using the old router. My experiment is almost complete. I bring in the laptop and power it up. It has some trouble connecting to the network. Eventually the laptop finds a network called "default," which is strange because my home network is called "home." Maybe it renamed itself in all the reconnecting and disconnecting. A few moments later and I have Internet on the laptop. My theory is proven. All I had to do to fix the old router was drive it around all weekend.

The computer guy is not really a genius! It is the drive over that fixes the equipment and yet he claims all the glory. No more! I have discovered your secret ways and I will never be without Internet again!

100 Reasons Why I Nurse in Public

This is in response to Christine Flowers op-ed piece in the Philadelphia Enquirer in Sept. 19, 2005. You can access the article at www.philly.com and search on Christine Flowers. I will also copy and paste the text below.

100 Reasons Why I Nurse in Public

1. The restroom is smelly.
2. The restroom is dirty.
3. The restroom is too far away.
4. There's no place to sit other than on a toilet in the restroom.
5. You try sitting on a toilet for 30 minutes and see how your butt feels.
6. I am attending to older children.
7. My other children are playing, watching, eating, or otherwise involved in
an activity.
8. My other children don't want to go to a smelly, dirty, boring restroom
9. My other children don't want to go to a boring, stuffy, cramped nursing room.
10. I am eating too.
11. I am in line and can't leave.
12. I have to pay before I can leave.
13. The baby is crying and can't wait for me to hike someplace private.
14. I am paying for your services by the hour.
15. I am not paying you while I go nurse my baby.
16. You are on a schedule.
17. I am on a schedule.
18. Babies don't understand "wait."
19. Pumps are expensive.
20. It is time-consuming to pump.
21. Pumps are impersonal and mechanical.
22. Why should I invest in bottles and nipples when I'm breastfeeding?
23. Sterilizing baby bottles is time-consuming.
24. Pumped breast milk only last 4-6 hours at room temperature (79˚ F).
25. I have no place to heat the bottle.
26. Formula is expensive.
27. Breast milk is convenient and portable.
28. Breast milk is sanitary.
29. Breast milk is always the right temperature.
30. Breast milk contains all the right nutrients for my baby.
31. Supplementing with formula will adversely affect my milk supply.
32. Feeding with formula is a known health risk.
33. My baby is sensitive to the proteins in cows' milk based formulas.
34. My baby is sensitive to soy-based formulas.
35. My baby is underweight and needs to nurse frequently.
36. Doctor's orders!
37. I'm trying to be as discrete as possible!
38. I don't want to miss ______.
39. I don't want to be stuck in the house.
40. Negative social attitudes toward public nursing adversely affect breastfeeding rates and the health of babies.
41. Get used to it.
42. It is natural and normal.
43. It is not obscene or gross.
44. DO NOT compare it to sexual intercourse, urination, or defecation.
45. The law says I can nurse anywhere I am allowed to be. (varies by state)
46. The law specifically excludes breast exposure while nursing from public indecency laws. (varies by state)
47. My baby's need to eat supercedes your need not to be offended.
48. It's my own damn house (yes, some people are even offended when it's your own house).
49. You see more on the cover of Cosmo.
50. Our culture has sexualized the breast at the expense of its primary function as a nourishing organ.
51. That's what they're for.
52. Breastfeeding aids in visual development and hand-eye coordination in the baby.
53. Breastfeeding enhances the mother-baby bond.
54. Breastfeeding releases hormones that contract my uterus.
55. Breastfeeding releases hormones that relax me and improve my mothering abilities.
56. Breastfeeding aids in the development of the jaw and mouth, lessening the need for braces later in life.
57. My baby refuses a bottle.
58. Introduction of an artificial nipple may cause nipple confusion leading to sore nipples, poor weight gain, frustration, mastitis, and a host of other very bad things.
59. My breasts are engorged.
60. Going too long between feedings at the breast can lead to mastitis.
61. Breastfed babies have fewer ear infections.
62. Breastfed babies have fewer illnesses in general.
63. Breastfed babies' poop smells better.
64. Breastfed babies rarely get constipated.
65. Breast milk is easily digestible.
66. Breastfed babies who are held a lot and fed on cue cry less.
67. Delaying a feeding can reduce my milk supply.
68. There's a reason why a baby's cries are so annoying.
69. Breastfed babies are smarter.
70. Breastfed babies have a much lower risk of obesity.
71. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer for mothers and baby girls.
72. The AAP recommends I breastfeed my baby for at least one year and as long thereafter as desired.
73. The World Health Organization and UNICEF recommend I breastfeed for at least two years.
74. Breast milk provides immunity to disease, something formula can't.
75. Breastfeeding reduces the incidence of allergies.
76. Breastfeeding eases the postpartum hormonal changes, making me less moody.
77. Breastfeeding is associated with a lower risk of SIDS.
78. Exclusive breastfeeding on demand suppresses my fertility for 6 months or more (and in this case, "exclusive" means no pacifiers or bottles).
79. Breast milk is environmentally friendly – no excess packaging, no industrial waste.
80. Breastfeeding reduces overall health costs.
81. Government subsidized formula costs you money.
82. Breast milk is free.
83. Breast milk tastes better.
84. Breasts are easy to carry with you.
85. Breast milk never gets recalled.
86. Less spit up.
87. Nurturing my baby boosts my confidence.
88. Nursing in public will inspire more girls to breastfeed.
89. Nursing in public conditions boys to see breastfeeding as normal behavior.
90. Nursing in public inspires other mothers to breastfeed.
91. Nursing in public gets fathers used to the idea.
92. Nursing in public helps grandparents accept and support healthy choices for their grandchildren.
93. I'm paving the way for future mothers to nurse anywhere.
94. I'm doing my part to make a more baby-friendly world.
95. It's easier to feed a hungry baby before he starts crying.
96. Crying babies make my breasts leak.
97. Because he asked to.
98. Breastfeeding is beautiful.
99. Babies are important people.
100. Babies have a right to breastfeed.


Here is the text of the editorial:

Christine M. Flowers | LACTOSE-INTOLERANT
THE OTHER DAY, I was counseling a client on her legal options when, without pausing to ask if I minded, she lifted her blouse and began to breast-feed her infant daughter.

Taken aback and not wanting to interrupt the child's meal, I guided the consultation to a swift conclusion.

There would have been no problem had the client asked if she could excuse herself and take the child to our bathroom or to a vacant office. What irritated me was the assumption that her right to nurse the infant trumped any obligation on her part to be courteous and ask, "Do you mind?"

I would never presume to tell someone what they could do in their bed, in their bathtub or at their dinner table. But what I expect and demand is that people not force their own militant preferences on me in public places.

I actually started this piece at least three times, searching for an inoffensive way to say it.

There was the sensible, statistic-driven approach that emphasized the overwhelming health benefits of breast milk. Too safe, I decided.

There was the acknowledgment that nursing was a unique form of love, representing the eternal bond between mother and child. Too cliched, I thought.

There was even an attempt at humor, as in "I really need to get this off my chest." (Who was it that told me puns were the indication of a deficient mind?)

But the only way to say it is boldly and without apology, girding myself for the onslaught of criticism from the La Leche activists:

Women shouldn't breast-feed wherever they choose.

If I'd said, "Men shouldn't urinate in public," it's unlikely that anyone would vociferously object. But I feel the backs stiffen and the claws unsheath at the mere suggestion that nursing is a private affair.

Infants are magnificent creatures. While certain specimens may eventually turn out to be unpleasant (e.g., the ones who develop into adults like Paris Hilton and Michael Moore), the consensus is that they bring joy and hope for the future.

Without them, in fact, there would be no future. So it is important for us to do whatever we can to ensure their survival.

At a minimum, they need to be fed. Newborns have a lot of time on their hands since they don't hold down jobs, drive or fret about the state of the world, so eating becomes disproportionately important to them. They crave nutrition on an hourly basis, regardless of where they might be.

For nursing infants, "appetizer-entree-dessert" is wherever mommy happens to be when the urge strikes. So unless nursing mothers agree to be trapped in their homes for the first year of junior's life, they sometimes have to breast-feed in public.

That's not the problem. Women should be permitted to nurse unobtrusively in restrooms and other public places specifically designated for the purpose.

The craving for nutrition and the ability to satisfy it are natural and beautiful, as are a woman's breasts. The problem arises when an essentially private activity becomes part of the public domain.

There are, of course, ways to accommodate both modesty and utility, allowing breast-feeding in certain areas and prohibiting it in others, just as we do with any activity that encroaches on the public domain, like smoking and playing loud music.

To those who resent the implication that breast-feeding might be as annoying as cigarettes and blaring hip-hop, I say that bared breasts can make some people very uncomfortable, even when a child is attached to one of them.

There is also the option of using a breast pump to express the milk at home, and then using a bottle in public. This way, the child gains all of the benefits of mother's milk while society is spared the sight of a human Playtex nurser.

When I mentioned this to a friend, she looked at me in horror and said, "But then people would think I was feeding my child formula!" It was as if I'd accused her of being Jim Jones on a Kool-Aid jag.

That seems to be the problem with many nursing mothers - it's more about the image than about the child.

And at the risk of sounding deficient, it feels good to get that off my chest.

Christine M. Flowers is a lawyer. E-mail cflowers1961@yahoo.com.

Too Posh to Push

(and now for something totally different)

Too posh to push?

Britney Spears Federline has had her baby by cesarean-section, and I heard that she announced ahead of time it was a scheduled, and since it was her first birth, I presume elective, c-section. Wouldn't surprise me if she had an abdominoplasty at the same time. What a sorry state of affairs ACOG (American College of Gynecologists) has gotten us into.

Here's the story of another celebrity birth from the September 5th issue of People magazine:

With the exception of a sudden aversion to red meat and yellow mustard, singer Michelle Branch says her pregnancy "was so easy. I was never sick. I felt great." The delivery itself was another story. After enduring 19 hours of labor, Branch underwent an emergency C-section because her infant daughter's heart rate was slowing down. "Once the anesthesiologist came in, I was like a different person," she says. "I said, 'I'm going to name the baby after you.'" Instead Branch, 22, and her husband, bandmate Teddy Landau, 41, settled on the "tomboyish" name of Owen Isabelle. "To have her come in the world and already have something scare you," says Branch, "I was just so relieved that she was okay."

After spending an extra five days at the hospital to treat a case of ileus, an intestinal ailment that's common following abdominal surgery, Branch returned to her L.A. home with Owen Isabelle…

First off, why does the author have to use the word "enduring" to describe labor? Wouldn't it be enough just to say "labored?" This only contributes to the common misconception that birth is an excruciating experience.

Not having access to Ms. Branch's medical records and not being a medical professional, I can't tell you whether this C-section was due to fetal distress or continuous electronic fetal monitoring. Continuous EFM is known risk factor for C-section. A slowing of the heart rate during contractions is normal, and continuous EFM is a defensive medical practice that too often results in the unnecessary surgical delivery of completely healthy babies. Sounds like this mother could have used more labor support and less technology.

Furthermore, Ms. Branch's experience demonstrates the negative consequences of C-sections, among them trauma for the mother and post-surgical infection. Do you think that five days of hospitalization might have a negative impact on mother-baby bonding? Studies show that anesthesia during birth affects the baby's interest and ability to suck. Separation that causes a delay of only a few hours before the first effective nursing results in reduced milk consumption and reduced milk supply that may continue throughout the entire nursing experience.

Ms. Branch will most likely face these same complications for future births since ACOG revised their guidelines on VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) that a physician must be immediately available for any woman undergoing a trial of labor after a previous cesarean. I'm not even going to get started on how just the phrase "trial of labor" already implies a lack of confidence in the mother's ability to birth. Many hospitals do not have continually staffed operating rooms and refuse to allow VBAC's, though there are ways around this for the determined mother. (see www.ican-online.org)

So now we have a situation where the medical establishment allows a woman to choose major abdominal surgery without medical indication, but prevents her from choosing natural childbirth after cesarean. Britney stands to influence countless young women that elective C-section is the way to go. If my almost forty-year-old soft body can push out two children, then surely Britney's twenty-three-year-old athletically fit body could at least give it a go. I think we need an alternative slogan to "too posh to push." Too privileged to procreate? Too bratty to breed? Too spoiled to spawn? Too powerful for a primary elective cesarean? Help me out here!

Pictures from Elf

Joan (Elwing) as Frodo.



Awwww, don't we make a cute hobbit family, with our daughter who dreams of being an Elf, and the littlest hobbit, peaking out from behind mama's skirt. (L-R, Joseph, Mary Joan (me, aka frekotw), Sarah as Arwen, Joan (Elwing) as Frodo)



What were we thinking, posing in front of the ladies room?



When we could have been posing here all along?



Here I am on row K. Joseph and Sarah are the blurs, and that's Patrick at the end of the row.



The costume contest: Sarah is on the front row far left; the winners were the four Japanese girls in front dressed as Sam, Rosie (in blond wig), Merry, and Pippin.

Dragon*Con: And they said?

I guess I should tell you what Bruce Hopkins and John Noble had to say at Dragon*con. (See "Call me crazy but..." below for my report on 2 days of Dragon*con.) Flip-flop shod Bruce Hopkins was a real card. First he joked about how his scene where he sleeps with Arwen was cut. He complained that he didn't get a death scene, just sort of disappeared, but that pretty Elf Haldir did. In response to audience questions, I learned that he had never ridden a horse before filming TTT, most of his prior work was in comedy, and he likes doing improv the best. His latest movie is improvised under direction. His favorite actor to work with was Viggo. He brought an energy to the set whenever he was there. Viggo also spoke fluent Spanish with his makeup artist Jose.

John Noble was a little more serious. He is quite handsome in person. He and Bruce Hopkins were never on the set together. All of his scenes were with Ian McKellan, Billy Boyd, Sean Bean, and David Wenham. The most touching scene that he was in was the one where Billy Boyd sings. No one had heard him sing the song before, and everyone on the set, about 200 people, stopped what they were doing to listen. His favorite scene overall is the one where Sam picks up Frodo and carries him up Mt. Doom. The first scene he filmed was his death scene and it was very exciting and fun to film. He said that he had directed theater, but that was nothing compared to what Peter Jackson did. He would come to the set, break out the story board, and set things up. He had five other television monitors going so that he could see what the other units were doing.

No matter what else happens in their career, they were both honored to be immortalized in one of the greatest films of all time.

Dragon*Con: Call me crazy but...

I went to Dragon*Con this weekend. It was a last-minute decision, especially since I just went to Elf last weekend. Saturday I finished unpacking from Elf, did the laundry, went to the grocery store, in other words, got everything done I needed to do. I had Monday off for Labor Day, so, on a whim, I called the three host hotels for Dragon*con in Atlanta, and the third one had a vacancy. Sunday morning we got up early and drove to Atlanta.

Let me tell you, Dragon*con makes Elf look like a party in Shire, and that is not a bad thing. I apologize for ever insinuating that Tolkien fans are freaks. I have found the freaks, and they are at Dragon*con. Tolkien's stories are multi-layered, wholesome, and moral. That can't be said for a lot of other stuff out there.

I knew I was in for something different when standing in line for registration, the woman in front of me was wearing shoes, panties, and a feather-trimmed sheer peignoir, and the couple behind me sported furry ears, tails, and body paint. Some of the costumes were very creative and elaborate, but there was also a lot of fetish-wear. Let me give you a Dragon*con fashion tip: even a plump lady looks good laced up in a corset, but you've got to have a perfect body to carry off the chain-mail bikini look.

There were so many different tracks and genres; one did not get the same sense of community that one finds at a single-topic event. There were a lot of people at Elf that came alone, but they shared a common interest with everyone else. Dragon*con was more cliquish and everyone seemed to be attending with a group of like-minded friends or partners.

Since I was only there for Sunday afternoon and Monday morning, I did not have time to get involved in the Tolkien track. The events were spread out over two hotels and on various floors, all with confusing names like convention level, exhibit level, international level, lobby level, lower lobby, motor lobby, et cetera, so getting on an elevator was a crap shoot. I managed to find my way to the 4:00 session with John Noble and Bruce Hopkins, my primary motivation for going. This was their 2nd panel, so this time they elected to take questions from the audience.

I had a seat on the front row outer aisle. Halfway through Joseph fell asleep (thank God!) after about 15 minutes of whining at the end, Sarah even dropped off. At one point when they were showing a clip of a Bruce Hopkins movie, both the actors were standing right next to me. Afterwards several people came up for an impromptu photo session, and I got my picture made with both of them. I don't think they posed for more than 15 pictures. The event organizer got really snippy with the last two people, but let them get their pictures anyway. I waited while everyone got their pictures and then asked them both for their autograph. They normally sign autographs in area just behind the dealers, but that room was packed and I did not relish the thought of navigating it with two children. They did not want to do it, saying that if anyone saw them giving me an autograph, they would all want one, but at this point there were no other fans left in the room. Since I now had two sleeping children, they took pity on me and acceded to my request. I had pages marked with their pictures in The Two Towers and the The Return of the King Visual Companions and they each signed their picture.

Immediately after that session, Ringers: Lord of the Fans were presenting their "making of" trailer next door. I had already seen that session at Elf, but since I was there and the kids were asleep, I went anyway. I'm glad I did, because we were treated to an impromptu acoustic performance by Emerald Rose before the session started. They played the Hobbit Theme music on guitar and flute and then segued into Merry and Pippin's "Drinking Song", which as most of you know is based on "The Bath Song" from the book.

Sarah woke up soon after, so we left and browsed the dealer room. I found a dealer who made some lovely circlets close to the door, and I've always wondered where exactly one might buy a circlet. I selected a simple brass one with two maple leaves and an amber stone, so now I can play wood Elf. I tried to find the Badali Jewelry table, because they had also been at Elf, but they closed the dealer room before I could locate them.

After that we headed back to the hotel room and ordered dinner room service – very smart move. After we had eaten our fill, Sarah and I changed into our princess-wear, and donning my circlet, the three of us headed over to the Masquerade Ball already in progress. I had tried and failed to get a babysitter through the hotel, but I thought since we were there, we could at least go look at the other costumes.

The next morning after packing and breakfast, we headed back to the dealer room. I found even more circlet dealers, corset dealers, and finally Badali jewelry. After chatting there a bit we headed up one floor to the ambiguously named "Convention Level" and visited the TheOneRing.net table. I picked up my free T-shirt, reading "Don't make me get my ring", saving them the shipping, and they threw in a Ringers lanyard for free. Nice. After browsing a few more exhibitors and finding a website on how to make LOTR costumes, we got in the car and headed home. End of weekend.